I received a gift at the beginning of the year from a friend. Knowing I had chosen “momentum” as my word for 2020 my friend included a quote in the card.
“The world is wide, and I will not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum.”Francis Willard
Those words exploded inside of me, “I will not waste my life in friction”, so good. I loved it so much, I created a graphic, printed it and hung it on my wall in my creative space.
A Series of Unfortunate Events
After a string of bizarre scenarios I recently found myself holding my dream and facing a dead end brick wall. I mean doors were shutting all around me. And the bizarre part, was that each door shutting, was because of a factor no one had any control over. I couldn’t be mad about it, but I felt a little gut punched. I had burst through the new year with “MOMENTUM”, and now it seemed all forward motion had stopped.
No matter how I broke it down I couldn’t see a way around it, over it, under it or through it. I began questioning whether or not I should continue with the blog and working towards what I know is my purpose. Are you kidding me? I was straight up questioning my purpose. Should I just sit down and quit?
I began the blog as a creative outlet and as a way for me to meet like minded people who also enjoy creating and growing through personal development. Also, writing the blog for the past eight years has allowed me to practice and hone my writing voice so I could write a book.
Are You There Universe, It’s Me, Sam?
When my book was published last year, I thought I was ready. But, there are so many aspects to maintaining the blog and writing and publishing a book, I got lost in the details. Juggling building a following, because you gotta have people to buy the book, and writing, publishing and marketing became overwhelming. Then, it seemed there was more marketing and social media and on and on. Plus I work a full time job, blah blah blah. I mean, “Are you there Universe, it’s me, Sam?”
I had become tired and irritable and frustrated that people didn’t want my dream for me as much as I wanted it for me. Ha! I was beginning to take the whole thing personally. The dead end brick wall was the final straw.
Struggling and flailing about I felt out of control and lost. Even though my dreams were becoming a reality, this huge obstacle, left me feeling angry and abandoned. For the record I have no idea who abandoned me.
Fighting is Friction
I couldn’t see a solution to my issue, it seemed it was the end. Finally, towards the end of my feeling sorry for myself week, I allowed myself to sit with my discomfort and angst. Fight or flight is a defensive reaction and everything in me wanted to fight my way to clarity and resolve. Fighting, struggling, and worrying are all forms of friction. Unproductive friction uses energy that could otherwise be used to find a solution and to gain momentum. Why couldn’t I use the same energy to create a solution?
As humans we are constantly distracting ourselves by blaming or comparing, or numbing ourselves by staying so incredibly busy we aren’t available to be uncomfortable or in pain. Being uncomfortable and in pain is part of growth. In those painful moments we have to decide to either stretch and push into the growth or to stay where we are and have our dreams wither on the vine. The truth is, in order to live the human experience we have to experience being human. And sometimes that’s uncomfortable. Check out this video of Glennon Doyle on Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations talking about pain.
Being uncomfortable and in pain is part of growth. In those painful moments we have to decide to stretch and push into the growth or wither on the vine. The truth is, in order to live the human experience we have to experience being human. And sometimes that’s uncomfortable.Sam Jerry
Turn Friction Into Momentum
Once I was ready to acknowledge the feelings of abandonment and irritation and disappointment, I was able to ask myself questions. “Is this really your dream, Sam? Do you want to keep going?” At first I was like, “hell yes, I want to quit. Do you hear me, Universe?” But then the thought of not following through, of not connecting and encouraging people caused me to feel empty, without purpose.
Our purpose is that thing we will sacrifice time, money and effort in order to see it come to pass. The definition of purpose is, the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
PURPOSE, the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
Acknowledging what I was feeling and then sitting with my discomfort allowed me to move forward towards a workable solution. Instead of spinning my wheels in useless friction, I’m turning the friction into momentum.
Is there something you’re in friction with right now? Are you at a place where you can sit with the friction and find a way to turn into momentum? You are worth it.
I hope you’ll join me, because, I’m all in. I will not waste my life in friction, when it can be turned into momentum.
be you…be beautiful…be imperfect