Mindfulness Monday is about taking one thing we want to improve, hone or remove from our lives and committing the week to being aware of it. Does it control us? Are we triggered by it? Have I ever even slowed down enough to recognize it in my own life?
By taking life bit by bit and moment by moment I believe we are setting ourselves up to be more aware and present in our lives. If we are aware and present we can show up ready to participate in our lives instead of having life happen to us.
Don’t Make Assumptions
This week’s Mindfulness Challenge has us focusing on the Third Agreement in the Four Agreements, Don’t Make Assumptions. Boom! This one is big, right? However, if we implemented last week’s challenge, Don’t Take Anything Personally, then perhaps it will be easier to see how this agreement layers on top of the last. Let’s look.
When we make an assumption we are saying we know what the other person is feeling, thinking and intending in the moment. We believe it and act on it as truth. Often by spreading it through gossip or by letting it slow simmer in our brains until we have a whole scenario built up in our minds.
But the exhausting part is that we then make it all about us (First Agreement). Then we take it personally (Second Agreement)! Finally, we then LIVE as if this assumption is true (Third Agreement)!
We make decisions based upon the assumption. Those decisions lead to judging others based upon the assumption. Too many times fights and arguments happen that are based upon the assumption.
At the end of an argument how many times have you said, “Oh, I thought you meant blah, blah blah?” It is because you assumed you knew what was going on and then you took it personally.
Don’t Make an Ass Out of You or Me
This week let’s focus on getting clarity. Ask yourself: If someone says something or does something do I automatically assume I know the truth of the statement or action? Am I asking clarifying questions? What would happen if I gave people the benefit of the doubt? Do I make it all about me and assume I know the feelings and intentions of the people I interact with?
Being aware is the first step. The second is slow down and ask clarifying questions or show compassion by giving the benefit of the doubt. It takes a lot of pressure off of us as humans to not have to carry the burden of being all knowing.
Be you…be beautiful…be imperfect.