I’m back!!! Just Left of Perfect Relaunch is in full process. I’ve been gone from here for a year now. Wow!!! I didn’t mean for it happen. I didn’t mean to go MIA. There was a life hiccup for sure.
Right now in this moment everyone is dealing with something. Life is happening to all of us. No one is immune. Sometimes its hard to imagine, but its true. Of course in my mind everyone has way more advanced coping skills than I do.
My Michael hasn’t been well for a while now. We began chasing symptoms a few years ago and discovered in December 2016 he had cancer. I have been quiet lately while we’ve been going through a season of uncertainty. I find myself wanting to hide away and protect rather than share and be vulnerable. The downside is how stifling it has been to me. When I shut down I suffocate and in doing so I’ve hurt myself. Living and showing people (and myself) that its okay not to be perfect is when I thrive. It really is okay to muddle through sometimes.
There is a great song that came out in 1986 by Suzanne Vega, “Left of Center”. There is a grainy VHS tape somewhere of me lip-syncing this song. My brother was the video operator, laying on the floor recording. He could barely move and hold the camera at the same time. Ha! The camera was SO big. It literally held a VHS tape. There was obviously a heavy MTv influence as I was climbing on the back of the sofa singing into the camera. Oh the 80’s.
Anyway part of the song goes, “If you want me, you can find me left of center off of the strip. In the outskirts and in the fringes in the corner out of the grip”
This amazing song influenced me then and now…thus the name of my blog, Just Left of Perfect. I feel these words described me then and I feel it definitely applies now. Sometimes I feel I should come with a disclaimer that says, “If you need me, go to perfect, take a left and that’s where I’ll be!” Right there in the outskirts and in the fringes. Often awkward in my own skin. Think Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights being interviewed after he wins….I don’t know what to do with my hands.
I use to think I wanted to be perfect. I needed to be perfect. Then I would be good enough. Good enough for what? I’m still not sure, but I wanted it.
I believe that to fit in requires you to change something about yourself, but to belong only requires acceptance. Acceptance includes landing somewhere just left of perfect. And that’s what I want to create here, a place where we can all belong. A place where people can feel comfortable with their quirky behavior. Just left of perfect…..
So here I am imperfectly, perfect. Let’s do this!